British Columbia Federation of Labour

The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play.
So we sat in the house
All that cold, cold, wet day.

And I said “How I wish
We had good news to hear.
The TV is boring
And the rain is so drear.”

Then something went bump
And it made us all jump
We saw him step in
With a sly kind of grin
Crossing over the mat
In a big fancy hat.

“I am Gord in the Hat.
I am a very fat cat
And I know many a trick
To make my friends rich
And some are so slick
They would make Conrad Black sick

“Here in the west,
Which of course, is the best,
I often have dreams
Of my wonderful schemes
To make lots of money.
These plans are so funny.
Oh, I love funny money.”

Then our fish known as Fed,
Cried we’ll all be dead,
These plans they are heedless
And you’re on the wrong side
“No, your worries are needless,”
Gord grinned as he lied.

“I’ll dump BC Rail
In a top secret sale,
That Warren Kinsella
Sure is a fine fella,
Send your jobs overseas,
And buy foreign ferries
And as for the trees
You can do as you please.
And damming the run
Of each river is fun.
To sell at high price
The hydro is nice.”

And Fed said with a tear
“To me it is clear
With Gord nothing is surer,
The rich will get richer
And the poor will get poorer.”

Then Gord he replied
With his grin very wide,
“Have no fear, little fish
You’ll make a lovely dish,
And if you wait long enough
For all of this stuff
The gains they will flow
To all you down below.”

“And I have some things new
Called Thing One and Thing Two.
I so like P3’s,
Partnerships if you please,
And low pay for you,
But of course, not for me.

“Now I have to be seen
By voters to be green.
So I’ll talk about transit,
But there’s no money for it.
I’ll put a tax on your gas,
But let the companies pass.
Those oil and gas guys
We’ll just subsidise.”

Fed warned that these plans
Would make children poorer
And be bad for the old.
All our nature‘d be sold.

But Gord in the Hat
He just smiled at that
Thinking he was so clever
He’d just go on forever.

But Gord’s crazy schemes
Came all tumbling down
As businesses closed -
And the jobs all left town.
Now his greedy dreams
Have all turned quite sour
And the people’s anger
Grows more fierce by the hour.
It seems out here in the West
We were no longer the best.

In the spring month of May
We sent Gord away.
He may wear a hat,
But unlike the cat
He wouldn’t confess
He just left a mess

In years ahead,
When your kids are in bed,
And they want to know,
About years long ago,
Will you tell about that,
About Gord in the hat?

Did you buy into his dreams,
his giveaway schemes,
Or did you demand with a shout,
Gord in the Hat - get the hell out
And unite with your neighbours
To strive with your labours
To take BC back
From the Gord in the Hat

Oh, what will you do,
When your children ask you?

Thanks to Dr Seuss and Kreiger. Used with Kreiger’s permission. A donation has been made to the Vancouver Food Bank.